TRUST: Can you handle it?

A phone call at 3:30am woke me hurriedly from my sleep. I had barely gotten two and a half hours of night rest after a draining work day. My initial intended reaction was to greet the caller with an impressive rude remark but I was stopped dead in my tracks when I heard on the other end of the line intense sobs….”It’s me, Charlotte” she managed to say between tears. “But why? Why? Why does it hurt so much? I trusted him… He promised I’d be his one and only!” The conversation lasted 45 minutes. At 4:15am in the morning, I was officially awake for the day. I pondered objectively on the heart wrenching details I just heard, trying to find the perfect entry point for analysis.  She said she trusted him…

A random update on my bbm (Blackberry messenger) status later same day lead to yet another outpouring, only this time from a guy. He bluntly said, “I don’t trust anyone, I can’t trust anyone.” There goes that word again…”TRUST.”

What does it mean to trust? Why do we trust? Why does it tear us up when trust is betrayed? How the dynamics of trust function I still can’t comprehend in totality. However, I realise everyone does not want their trust betrayed.

Expecting your trust in a friend, a lover, a spouse, a partner or whosoever not to be betrayed when you, as an individual, are capable of betraying someone else’s trust in you is a sign of the early stages of lunacy in my frank opinion. You cannot expect what you are unwilling to offer. Now, here is the twist; the willingness to stay true and trustworthy to another is not a guarantee that the other won’t betray your trust in them, sadly. I genuinely find this bit worrisome.

Vicious cycle I hear you say….arrrgggghhhhh!!!!! 😦

Bringing the topic closer, let’s start by asking ourselves; what does my worthiness read on the ‘Trust-O-Meter’? Taking a leaf  from the Merriam Webster Dictionary, trust is said to be an

 “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something,one in which confidence is placed”

Trust and character are like Siamese twins, joined at the hips!  One cannot be separated from the other. It is a two-way street. So I put the question out to you once again, What does your worthiness read on the ‘Trust-O-Meter’? The answer to this question for an averagely realistic person shouldn’t be rocket science. A simple analysis of the strength of your character should give a clear indication on a scale of 1 to 10 how trustworthy you are. The strength of character of a person has a direct bearing on the quality & measure of trust that can be invested in such given individual.

There are so many noteworthy quotes that I could reel out on the issue of character but the intention is not to bore you so let’s just stick to this one by J.C. Watts;

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.”

Before you go demanding trust or expecting  reciprocation of same, there is the need for you to first strengthen your character positively. It takes a conscious and deliberate effort to achieve this. It is constant practice. Are you one who finds great delight in back-stabbing a supposed BFF (Best friends forever)? Take a step back and try to trace the root cause of such action. It could stem from unsorted issues such as parental neglect while growing, low self-esteem, jealousy or sheer wickedness! A perpetual liaison with negative emotions is highly detrimental to character building. Purposing to be a better person is a good place to start.

The moment you can build character within, you become a better judge of character without! Never be in a hurry to trust. You need time to know an individual before you can qualify such as trustworthy or not. Just as respect is earned, so also, trust should be earned. Basing trust purely on your feelings for a person could result in devastating traumas…*warning chimes*….be guided! The irony is… for as long as we remain humans (not like we’re going to evolve into some new age specie anyway 🙂 ) we cannot be isolated from relationships. So, the sooner the better we learn how to handle trust issues.

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4 thoughts on “TRUST: Can you handle it?

  1. laju says:

    Great piece I must say!! For me I am a clear 4/10 on the trust-o-meter. But I try really hard to get to a 6 sometimes. The truth of the matter is that the arm of flesh will always fails.. Selah.
    Nice one I say again.

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