The private confessions of Guy Sleek:
This time I’m hoping for a different ending. I met her by some random act of fate. The connection was there like with any other time when I set my eyes on a damsel with great intellect and amazing body. We hit the turbo switch from the get-go with the intention of making it worthwhile. She is of great demeanour and charisma, ticks a lot of my boxes, more than 70% of my checklist to be candid! We became good friends at a very healthy pace. Soon after, we started dating. I secretly hoped I’d stay long enough for it to transit to a more serious thing.
Fast forward a few months and here I am, faced with my inner demons yet again. It is often said, men are moved by what they see but the truth is we can’t ‘move’ all we see. In my private thoughts I wonder constantly, “what if I’m settling for less than I can get?” This is where it always begins and once it starts, my focus dwindles. The commitment phobia sets in and I begin to systematically disconnect almost like an involuntary act of the blinking eyes. My eyes and mind begin to rove like that of a ready hunter set for the next kill.
As a guy, I am constantly seeing but most times, what I see is the less than 30% which my present girlfriend fails to tick. True saying, you can’t eat your cake and have it however I’ve always tried to maintain a dual focus. A struggle which leaves me exasperated, I must say. It never works and not looking like it would this time around! The vision of a skilled hunter is tunnelled, this much I know. Little wonder I always drown in the game of distraction. The painful part is I have lost some amazing women to this game of foolishness. The grass is never greener on the other side. They lied! It never is!
Save me from my self-destructive tendencies for I am only a man overtaken by his insatiable ambition for excellence in all spheres of life. I once read that if your eyes be single, you’d be illuminated. I would be marking yet another milestone in a few weeks and I am prepared for all sort of remarks that would pour in if not exceed the number of tangible gifts I receive. If it is true all men have wandering eyes, how do they do it then? How do they go ahead to commit? Even the green-eyed, two-headed monsters amongst us commit. I am nothing near that yet this seems a daunting task, a tall order in my case.
What am I doing wrongly? The 80-20 rule makes no sense once I begin to toll this treacherous path. Somewhere deep down, I desire to see this through. Sadly, the waves of distraction are beginning to draw me further away from the shores of her safe arms!
Save a broda!
Help!!!
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I have to say, I feel you on this. It ain’t easy, and from what I’ve found, I really don’t think the distractions will ever truly go away. For me I think I just came to the realization that I literally could not sleep with every woman in the world. Which is obviously a no-brainer, but I don’t think I really learned how to relax about the whole thing until that fact hit home.
One thing you mentioned was a about how you always look to excel in all aspects of your life, which sometimes can point to the notion that the search for a mate is sort of like solving for ‘x’ in a mathematical equation. Certainly it fits in with the ticking boxes thing.
Like you, I’ve lost out on one or two great girls but less because of distraction and more because of fear to move forward or just being jaded. Where I think we relate though is that we should focus more on how the girl makes us feel, because the truth is, that’s the real x-factor. Sure she’s hot, smart, driven, but can you guys actually have a good laugh and be silly together? If you can, and she’s got all that other stuff going on, then stick around. You might help her develop that missing 30%, and she might do the same for you. We meet good people for a reason, and last I checked, there’s not a lot of genuinely good people out there that we can match up well with.
It’s all up to you. You are the only one who can save you from you. Maybe it’s high time you re-evaluate your expectations of your ideal woman too. Maybe you are usually motivated by the’surface’ things only to realise soon that what you’ve gotten lacks depth.
Or you are simply not ready.