And so the Cookie Crumbles

Good morning NW readers,

Trust the weekend was nicely spent. Yeah, I know we never get enough of it but on the flip side, another one is only 4 days away…yay!!!

Now to the matter for the day: I’ve got a tough meat on my plate this week, nothing short of a deal breaker in my opinion! The events you are about to read are the realities of a frustrated, on-the-verge-of-giving-up young married couple. Take a dive in and let’s have your take, advice and/or counsel on it. Here we go…

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An evening of merriment to celebrate Akin’s latest promotion at his work place just went pear-shaped…well, at least for me. The music was excessively loud, compounding the throbbing sensation rippling through my head and body. In my trembling hands was a piece of paper that carried as much weight as I perceived on that day the Vicar handed us our marriage certificate. Clearly printed on it was the result of a pregnancy test that could change the rhythm of things in our marriage…forever? Below it was a P.S. note neatly handwritten in cursive addressed to me. I stared endlessly at the piece of paper hoping what I had just read was untrue….

“Hi Tade,

In less than 7 months, this would be ‘our’ reality. I thought to do you the honours by letting you know before hand; seeing that Akin may never mention it to you. I don’t want you to leave, just move over and create me some space too. 



Irene, oh Irene! My gut feelings never fail me. She works as PA to Akin and I have always had this reservation about their “relationship”… a little too close and unnecessarily chummy for comfort. For each time I brought up the issue with Akin, he succeeded in side-tracking it either by telling me I was just conjuring things in my idle head or I was being overly sensitive. “What transpires between Irene and I is strictly professional”, he’d say. So, to see her walking towards me at the celebration party with a satisfactory smirk on her face as she handed me the envelope left me ruffled.

Akin and I got married exactly 4 years ago in a very extravagant ceremony. Our parents have been family friends way before either of us was born so to see their seeds come together in matrimonial union was the climax of their friendship of many decades. Don’t get it twisted, we were never childhood sweethearts though I could tell my mother wanted that from the get go. As a matter of fact, whenever there was reason for us to meet at mutual family functions, we avoided each other like a plague; maybe it was just me. I also found it very discomfiting to hear his mother refer to me while growing up as their “wifey”. My heart was somewhere else…my heart was with Ejiro.

I met Ejiro in my 1st year at the university; he was in his final year. The spark between us was instantaneous and electrifying. He was my first boyfriend and he sure did rock my world. The circumstances under which we first met was anything but romantic; this, however, did not in any way affect the chemistry that transpired between us as we recovered from the unintentional collision that caused our paths to meet on that fateful day right outside the senate complex.  In less than 2 weeks, we became inseparable till he graduated.

Till date, I am yet to unravel the mystery surrounding how my mother found out about Ejiro and I. She literally had feats as though she were epileptic, spitting fiery words of disapproval like cannonballs. If my memory serves me well, in the 2nd semester of my 1st year at Uni, I overheard, for the first time, her and father discussing their plans to seal the friendship between Akin’s family and ours with a marriage. The tone of the conversation didn’t sound like a new topic to them. It was at this point I realized my time with Ejiro would only be but for a moment; a reality that stung to the bones. I stood the chance of losing  my inheritance if I did not comply as it were. We parted ways soon after he graduated, we couldn’t bear to keep in touch. The breakup was so painful, its remembrance never fail to unleash the waterworks in my tear ducts.

I refused dating other guys for the rest of my academic years seeing that my marital fate was already sealed. The frequency of Akin’s calls and visits increased and I wasn’t surprised. He was already primed for the task ahead. Being someone with a natural aversion for confrontation, I settled into the role of fiancée without much ado. I grew to like Akin over time and showed him respect for the role he was about to play in my life not minding the disparity in the way I feel about him in comparison to Ejiro.  As at the time we got married, I had just landed my first real job in an Oil & Gas  multinational organisation post National Youth Service. For a fresh graduate, I was well positioned in the company thanks to my father’s goodwill.

3 years and 2 months after we got married, it happened. I was one of the delegates assigned by the company to attend an annual Oil & Gas Industry  International Conference in Atlanta, Georgia in the United States of America. I was awesomely excited at the prospect of this. It would be the first time away from Akin since we got married; I needed to exhale! He had already declared since the 4th week of our marriage that he has now satisfied the parents and he’s willing to play house with me as long as I don’t disturb his equilibrium, meaning – his liberty to exercise his masculinity beyond the confines of our marriage. He also did not forget to add the need for us to postpone having children till after our fourth year of marriage. Neither of these went down well with me but I stayed put, too afraid to challenge him. There was no way I could mention this to my parents either, Akin could do no wrong before them.

As fate would have it, it was in the land of far far away somewhere in America, while on this official trip that I met Ejiro again. He was also attending the same conference. As a matter of fact, we were lodged in the same hotel, on the same floor, even, the same wing.  We wasted no time, seeing all the elements had come together for us, we picked up from where we left it years back…my soul came alive again. We  did our best to exercise uttermost discretion in how we sneaked into each other’s room every night  of the 5 days we spent there. Evidently it wasn’t good enough. Upon my arrival back home, Akin presented me with photographic evidences of my escapade with Ejiro! How on earth did he get these? Your guess is as good as mine, he obviously had me spied! Damn!!!

My escapade with Ejiro wasn’t planned in any way, we lost contact since he graduated…the circumstances simply played out. He works and lives  on a different continent so the chances of a repeat are narrow.  Before the incidence, it had been 11 months since any coitus action happened between Akin and I. He was always too busy or too tired. I knew those were just excuses, he sure was getting his groove on elsewhere; I’d seen enough incriminating bbm chats and phone call records to corroborate this. Although, I may never love Akin the way I love Ejiro but I was not ready to throw my marriage away…too many things at stake. So, for these reasons, I came clean, gave my deepest and most sincere apologies to him and he said, “I forgive you”. As a matter of fact, his niceties took a turn for the better which honestly got me worried. Something didn’t feel right!

Her sarcastic laughter from the distance was loud enough to startle me out of my state of reminisce. I raised my head from the piece of paper in my hands to behold Akin and Irene whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. With the corner of his eyes, he caught me and for what seemed like eternity, we held each other’s gaze; he made no attempt to comport his actions with Irene and without remorse he looked away.

Source: Google Images


I am in a state of confusion and I am absolutely clueless on what to do now. My plan was to break the news of my pregnancy to Akin after the celebration party but clearly, Akin & Irene had other plans. What am I going to do now? Should I tell him I am carrying his baby or not? Should I walk away, get rid of it and pick the pieces of my life and start over again, probably with Ejiro…at least he is not married? Should I get the parents involved? What should I do? I am so shattered!!!

– Tade 😦

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Pleas find the comment link below to leave your thoughts, thanks!


12 thoughts on “And so the Cookie Crumbles

  1. phuncare says:

    Tough one…..Akin obviously doesn’t give a hoot what she does, So she should fink of her own happiness. She owes him the responsibility to tell him abt d pregnancy anyway, but she should move on. She was never married, it was an agreement and dey were ‘playing house’ as reiterated by Akin.

  2. I get very discouraged when I hear stories like these because it shows once again that the majority of us are fooling ourselves when we aren’t being true to our hearts. Yes the prospect of losing your inheritance is a scary thought but what’s a life full of money with no love? I cannot imagine a prison where I know my spouse is being unfaithful and I am secretly wishing for another. In that case I blame the parents but even more so I blame Tade; she’s the victim only because she allowed herself to be, but that is now past.

    The question is: are you going to allow yourself to continue to be the victim?

    Go and tell your parents that you’re pregnant, tell them their son got someone else pregnant, and then move on with your life. Leave him. Even if you can’t be with Ejiro, find someone else you can be happy with. If this Dana Air crash should have taught you anything, is that life is painfully short and there’s no use stockpiling regrets. That’s my opinion anyway, either way I wish you the best.

  3. Lagoshunter says:

    You hadn’t had sex with Akin for eleven months yet you were about to tell Akin about the pregnancy? Am I the only seeing this gaping hole in the story?

    • That was prior her travel to Atlanta. Remember they are in their 4th year of marriage and the Ejiro escapade happened 3years and 2 months into their marriage. Things got “better” after the forgiveness episode. Re-read 🙂

  4. Banke says:

    My oh my…this is a major conundrum! Tade, I can’t imagine being in your shoes. Like Ighosime rightly said, you should have made better decisions before it got to this point. My advice to you is to let all involved parties know the situation on ground and take it from there. Goodluck o!

  5. Honey says:

    Being enslaved, whether in a job or marriage, is no way to live. We all do things for the wrong reasons at some point in our lives but its about time Tade started living for herself…
    It’s easy to say “leave him” or “take out the baby” but Tade needs to think about what Tade wants; it doesn’t sound like Akin is part of that but maybe the baby is.
    It isn’t what happens to us that matters; it’s what we make of what has happened!

  6. Mama Tamar says:

    err,… but the pregnancy isnt for Akin nau right? You said – Before the incidence, it had been 11 months since any coitus action happened between Akin and I.

    Now she is pregnant? of course it’s Ejiro’s naaa. or did I miss something?

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