…Oh The Shame!

Yeah, I did promise to put up a product review I came across on Amazon.co.uk while trying to unwind last Wednesday night. I honestly thought it was going to be the very regular kind of review but I was soooo wrong!

I do not want to give away so much as I’d want you to form an unbiased opinion about it. The review is about a very popular hair removal product – Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream. Errmmm…don’t ask me what I was doing reading a review about a product meant for men, just read on hoping it makes your day as it did mine!

Here it goes…

Customer Review
1,323 of 1,343 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh the shame…., 3 July 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit of a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types…oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it’s way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it’s engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering…” Ooooh that feels good “. Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect…:)

*****

Well, I don’t know about you but by the time I was done reading this, what I was doing was far from just laughing…. This was me howling and crying, reeling with laughter that must have annoyed my over zealous neighbour in the apartment below mine. I couldn’t help but create vivid imaginations of all the scenarios described above. I shared it with a colleague at work yesterday and he was uncontrollably hysterical!

Hope you found the review useful?…lol! Do have a Veet-free weekend! 😀 😉

Ciao!

I Miss Your Tranquil Voice Girl

I don’t know about yours but my soul is primarily designed for tranquility. Trying to achieve this state of being on a constant basis has proven to be a challenge. I mean, life as it is serves a mixed platter, there’s always a lot to juggle at the same time which makes finding that inner quiet a task we sometimes are completely clueless about how to tackle.

I do not mean to sound like a broken record but I do apologize…again… for my MIA stunts. I have been away for far too long, it breaks my heart too. As a matter of fact, I logged on to my blog today and boldly printed across my dashboard was, “No way!!! Never thought you’d make it back?” OK, if you believed that, then you’d believe anything! 🙂 Well, in my time away, I can’t but appreciate kind gestures from the likes of @daireenonline, @deboadejugbe, @temiville and co. People really do care and that is so heart-warming.

To be honest, I am not really one to divulge when it comes to personal issues but I just feel the need to exhale at this point. Speaking quite candidly, my work schedules in recent weeks have been manic. Combining 9 – 5 with personal businesses (which I will definitely talk about in the near future just before I launch my new collections) isn’t for the fainthearted. Saturdays and Sundays are now my new Mondays and I can’t remember the last time either truly felt like a weekend! Boy..I need a getaway!

So, there’s been something on my mind lately….

I am a die-hard fan of a radio station on my local airwaves. I find the broadcasters light, fresh, with great sense of humour and voices ever so easy on the ears. Lately, I have not been able to stay up long enough to catch the 10 pm segment of one of her show (smooth sessions) which runs between 8 pm and midnight. I would normally have the radio on to listen in as I settle into bed but end up having the radio listen to me as my breathing gets slower and heavier, almost becoming snores but not quite yet.

The fair lady with the tranquil voice

I especially love the host of the show, the way she calls her name – Olufisayo Olanrewaju a.k.a pHisayo – and her voice in general…she owns it! She brings to life any story she narrates inside the 10 o’clock hour…she’s good! Then, about a little over a week ago, after about 2 weeks of missing out on the show, I heard a strange voice anchoring as I tuned in around 9 pm on this fateful day. At first, I thought it was the voice of a guest on the show however it didn’t take long for that notion to be dispelled as it dawned on me she is the new host!!!

I found her excessively aggressive to callers; especially to those that called in and still wanted to hear how their voices sounded on air hence pumping up the volume of their radio which in turn contributes to the continuous eroding of the hearing capabilities of other listeners! Well, I managed to stay up to listen to her read the stories during the 10 o’clock hour and oh my….she lost me! After a long day, the last thing I’d want to listen to isn’t a hybrid American cum British with a dash of Nigerian spice mixed accent that sounds pensive, high-pitched and laced with irritation as she laments on, long after the offending caller has dropped the line…nah!!!

Sincerely, I hope she is only relieving pHisayo for a short period because I don’t think so many regulars fancy her replacement. I really do miss her tranquil voice….I need a moment to pout about this….*pouting*

I’m done and back…. 🙂

In other news, I know I need to make a stronger commitment to my blog regardless my crazy schedules. I have been sitting on 5 different drafts over the past weeks and that doesn’t sound right. The feedback from the Mr & Mrs series are awesome and I’m excited about what I have in drafts currently. November is going to be a good month as I have renewed vows with my blog!  I’ve missed reading from your guys I must say….

Thanks for stopping by and do stay tuned!

Much love,

NW

PS: Stumbled on a review and I’d be sharing it tomorrow!

Image Source: www.phisayo.com