Meet My New Crush – The Dualers

While running some errands on the high street yesterday after sis-in-law, niece and I treated ourselves to a good time at the health club, my ears started tingling with excitement as his sonorous voice filled the air. Of course I was already walking on sunshine, basking in the lingering euphoria of the just concluded pure indulgence.

We followed the trail of his voice till we found the spot. Based on the style of the music and texture of his voice, I wasn’t expecting to see none other than a black Jamaican bloke doing his thing.

Was I wrong?

I couldn’t believe my eyes when they fell on this eye candy! I quickly whipped out my phone to record a little bit of his busking for as long as the memory on my phone permitted. 🙂

Listen for yourself and do tell what you think… I do apologize in advance for the background chatter! 🙂

 

Needless to say, the rest of the evening was spent surfing Youtube, listening to their numerous performances. We love him already and can’t wait to see him in concert!

-NW

Copyright ©2014 NUBIANWATERS. All Rights Reserved.

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Day Seventeen: The Fright of Fear

Oh! Why would you ever ask of me such?

Another plot to put me on the spot?

I don’t think I really wanna talk about it much!

Just thinking about it now gives me a clot!

 

Sometimes I do valiantly escape it

Other times I’m just darn right low on credit!

And if by now you still don’t get it

Telling you about it, you really wouldn’t merit!

 

Somewhere right beneath the perfected façade

After all the man in the mirror psych and incite

Slyly waiting it creeps in with the squad

Gradually deflating the resolve deep inside.

 

But ever so surely I’m reminded of it daily

Three sixty-five times the scribes duly recorded

Though time and tide may threaten her greatly

‘Be not afraid’ He already instructed.

 

-NW

Copyright ©2014 NUBIANWATERS. All Rights Reserved.

 

Writing 101: Day Seventeen: Your Personality on the Page

“What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears. If you’re up for a twist, write this post in a style that’s different from your own.”

Day Fourteen: To Whom it May Concern

Dear Life,

Today, I was reminded of the irrefutable truth that I’d only get one go at you and no more. Today, I was reminded  I am already expending that chance and the countdown started long before now.

Today, I was reminded no matter how long I relish each moment, I will reach that limit and then no more. Today, I was reminded there is more beyond this plain though at times I forget and I’m consumed by your bane.

Today, while at the service of songs, I listened to tributes commending him on the time he spent with you. Today, I feared I’d be a hot mess but alas those words they did really bless. Today, they reiterated the sail with you is short though no one knows when they will reach their own port.

Today, I was reminded about what’s most important; how most things I do with you may be cool but yet unimportant. Today, I was reminded to spend you investing in things that would only matter after my passing.

In thoughts,

NW.

Copyright ©2014 NUBIANWATERS. All Rights Reserved

(In memory of the dearly departed, Oluwatoyin Salako 1969 – 2014)

Writing 101: Day Fourteen: To Whom it May Concern

“Pick up the nearest book and flip to page 29. What’s the first word that jumps off the page? Use this word as your springboard for inspiration. If you need a boost, Google the word and see what images appear, and then go from there. 

Today’s twist: write the post in the form of a letter.”

I Miss Your Tranquil Voice Girl

I don’t know about yours but my soul is primarily designed for tranquility. Trying to achieve this state of being on a constant basis has proven to be a challenge. I mean, life as it is serves a mixed platter, there’s always a lot to juggle at the same time which makes finding that inner quiet a task we sometimes are completely clueless about how to tackle.

I do not mean to sound like a broken record but I do apologize…again… for my MIA stunts. I have been away for far too long, it breaks my heart too. As a matter of fact, I logged on to my blog today and boldly printed across my dashboard was, “No way!!! Never thought you’d make it back?” OK, if you believed that, then you’d believe anything! 🙂 Well, in my time away, I can’t but appreciate kind gestures from the likes of @daireenonline, @deboadejugbe, @temiville and co. People really do care and that is so heart-warming.

To be honest, I am not really one to divulge when it comes to personal issues but I just feel the need to exhale at this point. Speaking quite candidly, my work schedules in recent weeks have been manic. Combining 9 – 5 with personal businesses (which I will definitely talk about in the near future just before I launch my new collections) isn’t for the fainthearted. Saturdays and Sundays are now my new Mondays and I can’t remember the last time either truly felt like a weekend! Boy..I need a getaway!

So, there’s been something on my mind lately….

I am a die-hard fan of a radio station on my local airwaves. I find the broadcasters light, fresh, with great sense of humour and voices ever so easy on the ears. Lately, I have not been able to stay up long enough to catch the 10 pm segment of one of her show (smooth sessions) which runs between 8 pm and midnight. I would normally have the radio on to listen in as I settle into bed but end up having the radio listen to me as my breathing gets slower and heavier, almost becoming snores but not quite yet.

The fair lady with the tranquil voice

I especially love the host of the show, the way she calls her name – Olufisayo Olanrewaju a.k.a pHisayo – and her voice in general…she owns it! She brings to life any story she narrates inside the 10 o’clock hour…she’s good! Then, about a little over a week ago, after about 2 weeks of missing out on the show, I heard a strange voice anchoring as I tuned in around 9 pm on this fateful day. At first, I thought it was the voice of a guest on the show however it didn’t take long for that notion to be dispelled as it dawned on me she is the new host!!!

I found her excessively aggressive to callers; especially to those that called in and still wanted to hear how their voices sounded on air hence pumping up the volume of their radio which in turn contributes to the continuous eroding of the hearing capabilities of other listeners! Well, I managed to stay up to listen to her read the stories during the 10 o’clock hour and oh my….she lost me! After a long day, the last thing I’d want to listen to isn’t a hybrid American cum British with a dash of Nigerian spice mixed accent that sounds pensive, high-pitched and laced with irritation as she laments on, long after the offending caller has dropped the line…nah!!!

Sincerely, I hope she is only relieving pHisayo for a short period because I don’t think so many regulars fancy her replacement. I really do miss her tranquil voice….I need a moment to pout about this….*pouting*

I’m done and back…. 🙂

In other news, I know I need to make a stronger commitment to my blog regardless my crazy schedules. I have been sitting on 5 different drafts over the past weeks and that doesn’t sound right. The feedback from the Mr & Mrs series are awesome and I’m excited about what I have in drafts currently. November is going to be a good month as I have renewed vows with my blog!  I’ve missed reading from your guys I must say….

Thanks for stopping by and do stay tuned!

Much love,

NW

PS: Stumbled on a review and I’d be sharing it tomorrow!

Image Source: www.phisayo.com

 

The Chase Loop

Partly distracted by the crystal embellishing project on my work table, I listened to Lizzy over a long distance call as she waxed strong in her reverberation on how some “matured” singles in her locale are carrying on lately. Worthy of note was the case of a lady almost closing in on 40 being chased by a guy in his 40s – both ‘singularly single’, never been married! To the average observer, from a percentile viewpoint, the chances of faffing in this particular scenario would have easily been capped at less than 10%, seeing both are of age. This was not so in this case. From information gathered, a ground rule of zero tolerance for faffing and time-wasting was established by the lady from the outset. However, the guy began drawing back near the completion of the chasing phase…the point where the lady began showing signs of acceptance and consent.

As someone who ponders a lot, I have come to realize that there is always more to what we see than its face value. For this reason, the curious cat in me never resists the urge to probe deeper. Coming off the telephone conversation, I began to process all that transpired, taking caution not to allow sentiments champion my analysis. A number of factors were put into consideration, ranging from observations, personal and impersonal experiences to logical assumptions and established facts. Here we go…

The relationship process is one I’d like to fit into that of a typical flowchart strictly for analytical purposes. There are different phases in this process and a variety of external and internal factors may and do contribute to the successful completion of one phase and the transition on to the next phase in the process. Relationship in itself is a very extensive subject but for the purpose of this post, I will focus on just a phase or two in the entire process.

It is impossible to talk about relationships and neglect the subject of maturity, therefore, may I digress and address that first.

Age is only but a number that offers a grand illusion of maturity to the unsuspecting. The higher the number, the more likely the susceptibility to this state of delusion. Contrary to the prevailing belief system, with age does not come maturity. Life has shown that men advanced in age can be left destitute of wisdom and sound counsel thus causing utter disbelief at certain attitudinal displays that emanate from them at certain times. Maturity is a conscious state of being. It is more of a decision than an acquisition through elongated existence on planet earth. Sadly, it is pretty easy to bask in the grandeur of this sad delusion.

With that said, relationships are not for babies! It is not uncommon to find a number of people in love with the idea of being in a relationship but clueless about the demands, sacrifices, self-control and bittersweet pressures it may and does exert on one. In reference to my simple flowchart above, a lot of people (both dudes and chics) get stuck in the chase loop. With no disrespect to the male gender, they constitute a higher percentage of the lot stuck in the chase loop purely because they do the chasing mostly. To chase is naturally expected of a man.

So, what’s “the chase loop”?

Have you ever wondered why the excitement is usually peak at the beginning of the relationship process – The chase! It is the adrenaline rush, a resultant effect of the chasing game, pumping through your system. Both the chaser and the  ”chasee” experience this rush, though maybe to differing degrees. The truth is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with experiencing the rush, however, where the problem lies is becoming a junkie!  It is getting stuck on the buzz thus not seeking to bring a decent closure to the chase phase and go ahead to the next phase which requires a greater level of seriousness and a descent  from cloud nine. Agreed, not all chases transition on to the next phase for reasons best known to the chaser and the “chasee” but I won’t be dwelling on that today.

The reality is that our performances in life are measured against age milestones. Unfortunately,  our state and level of maturity are seldom considered when analyzing these. This means there are natural expectations of us at certain ages in life and if these expectations become unfulfilled at those age milestones, we risk being labelled. The tale of this 40-something year old chap is one I can relate to very well. More than likely, he is stuck in the chase loop; in love with the idea of being married but too strung up on the rush he gets whilst chasing and helpless to get out. This is where maturity comes into play.

This malady of immaturity in this regard is often responsible for the restlessness experienced. The inability to stay focused and give in to the attending demands that come with getting involved. The lack of discipline and self-control are also off-springs of it.  The rush would naturally wear off but the question that begs to be asked is, “Are you ready to put down the chase tools and take on the next phase of seriousness?” Some women do get lost in the loop as well. They love to be chased constantly by someone, anyone…anybody. Attention and thrill seeking, ever ready to take, never willing to give. In some cases, they are the chasers!

Source: Google Images

A “chase-junkie” is not unlikely to be a multiple chaser, simultaneously pursuing two or more ladies or men as the case may be. Theirs may be likened to the dilemma of a kid with bulging eyes placed in a candy store. With people like these, it’s really not about completing the relationship flowchart rather, they remain in the loop where they get their constant fix. At the core of this, you’d find conceit and self-absorption; always about self and self-gratification, seldom considerate of the ripple effect of their recklessness on other involved parties. A very common modern-day habit for chase-junkies is getting strung up on dating sites. On there, they easily get cheap thrills and instant fixes with minimal effort.

The fear of the unknown also contributes to this “stuck in the chase loop” syndrome. Past experiences and unpleasant childhood memories are often beneath the fear of the unknown , leaving its victims absolutely petrified so much so that the only way of resolve is adopting “the chase loop” cycle as a coping mechanism. They are afraid of possible eventualities so rather than square shoulders with the real deal and take the risk to proceed into meaningful relationships, they choose to stay in the “safe zone”, faffing ! This ultimately earns them the title -” un-serious”. Unlucky for them, the Instantaneous Gratification Syndrome, the bane of our generation offers zero tolerance for such character defect.

Source: Google Images

Another common denominator with chase junkies is this: there is always this insatiable longing embedded in their subconscious, an illusion that drives them to believe it’s better and gainful for them to bypass a tangible cup of water in the desert as a result of their fixation on the mirage of a fountain ahead! Hmmm…Selah! This explains why everyone they date is never really good enough for them! Sadly, this fixating disposition almost by default beclouds their sense of judgement which climactically results in repugnant choices ever so often.

A chase-junkie may “succeed” in reaching the end of the relationship flowchart, that is, end up getting married either through coercion, hook or crook but because the root of the addiction hasn’t been dealt with, it is no surprise they still continue in the loop recklessly laying their marital relations on the altar of jeopardy. The chase-junkie traits without doubts masquerades certain dysfunctionalities, sometimes complex and deeper issues that has been overlooked and left unattended to for years.

Now, it is very likely some people out there may have contrasting opinions which is permissible and I have no qualms with that. Some may also have opinions that resonates with these. The bottom line is; these are my thoughts deduced from my observations over the years. Irrespective of what premise you opine on, I’d love to hear them cause we all learn everyday.

Please leave your thoughts below.

Cheers and lovely of you to pop in 🙂 !

Live Laugh Love

Top of the morning!

Last Friday evening, I was with close friends, Bim and Lola, at an event which took place at the Lagos Oriental Hotel. It wasn’t a fun fest rather, an assembly of aching hearts and hurting souls. As I met up with Lola in the lobby area, I couldn’t but notice her plain face – devoid of all make-up. Her day’s activities included attending 3 different funerals…all as a result of the June 3rd plane crash in Lagos. Bim joined us a little later with eyes as deep as scarlet. We barely spoke. The atmosphere was intense.

The last speaker for the night started by reiterating two words – “3 minutes”. He dwelt on that for at least half a minute and I kept wondering where he was going with this. He then said, “all they needed was 3 minutes to make it to the runway where emergency services were awaiting the plane after making the distress call, all they never got was 3 minutes!” Heavy sighs rippled through the room simultaneously like an orchestrated symphony. He then proposed a series of mind-boggling questions; questions that have filled my thoughts the better part of this weekend.

“If you had only 3 minutes left before you meet with your maker, what would you do with them? Would you at that point be considering the shoes you bought and never wore? Would you be considering your achievements? Would the monies in your bank accounts or the house(s) be your priority at that point or the piece of your mind you forgot to give Freddy last week be your focus? Would you be regretting life un-lived,  love un-expressed or kindness un-shown?

Source: Google Images


Sometimes in life we get so caught up in all sorts and somewhere at the back of our minds there is this vague assumption that we have time. For this reason, we procrastinate. We plan and live our lives like we control time. But really, how many of us deeply understand that we don’t have time?

I read a tribute written by a bereaved husband to his late wife who was a victim of the crash. He detailed the chronicles of his late wife’s life which I found absolutely inspiring. Then I thought, someone on that flight probably left their partner that fateful afternoon without mending fences over a little, trivial misunderstanding and now, the grieving partner, faced with the reality of living with such deep and painful regret.

Tragedies do have a way of re-focusing us as humans. For some, this change in perception lasts a lifetime while for others, no sooner do they slip back into old habits.

Source: Google Images

Life is fickle, life is short. A moment in time is all we are sure of, it’s all we truly have. Do good while you can. Treat people right even when they seem undeserving of  your acts of graciousness and benevolence. Love the “unlovable” especially when what they seem to deserve is a cold shoulder or better still, abandonment. Try not to withhold good when it is in your capacity to do it. Cut yourself  and others some slack. Show appreciation for every kind gesture. Don’t be a user, that sucks! Apologize and mean it. Forgive and move on… 🙂 Lead a less complicated life. Seriously, you don’t need the dramas! Live everyday to the fullest…make it count. Be thankful!

2012 has been a very eventful year for me so far; life keeps happening, leaving me with new realities, hmmm…*deep sigh* In these, one thing I do remember is; my life is not mine and for everyday I get the privilege to see, it’s a gift not a right!

I learn daily and stay thankful for the gift of life!

Source: Google Images

Thanks for stopping by 🙂